A couple of months ago, I walked over a zebra crossing. A car stopped to let me cross the road. I gave the driver a smile and a cheerful nod of gratitude. But before I knew it, I was struck.
Well, not by a car, but by the idea that this actually was an odd situation. Through some mere lines on that single piece of road, I knew that the driver had to stop and that same driver expected me to cross the road. If one of us hadn’t followed this rule, it would most definitely have resulted in frustration for at least one of us.
This simple rule made me exchange trust and being humane with expectations towards the other based on an external rule. It struck me to realize that this isn’t only the case within traffic. In fact, all of our rules and regulations have this intrinsic property: just consider how many things are subject to regulation. Regulations appear to externalize trust. No wonder why we have been alienating from ourselves and eachother at such a rapid pace.
I firmly believe that if we slowly start undoing ourselves from as many external regulations as possible, we will give ourselves some space for consciousness to grow & develop from within. Now, wouldn’t that be nice?
I would love to hear your opinions on this one!
Yours truly,
Jeroen
Or like a professor at Nyenrode University mentioned:
‘The fact that we live in a world of exceedingly more rules is an indication of two things:
1. We live in a world that’s getting more and more complex and we need rules to make sense of it all
and/or
2. We trust each other less and less
‘
Very true IMO.
I agree that we need to undo ourselves from as many external regulations as possible. But looking at your zebracrossing-experience I also see possibilities to connect with each other because there are rules. You had some kind of connection with the driver because he stopped for you. Maybe that is logical because that are the rules… you can’t take it for granted though. If I did, I would be dead right now.
What I am trying to say is that you can still make a huge difference by the way you cope with those rules. You looked at the driver friendly and nodded. That is a choice. You could have taken the stop for granted and decide not to make eye-contact. I can make a lot of excuses to do so (I was in a hurry, really really need to make a phone call, I was thinking about a guy etc.). I am not saying that we need to wave en smile the whole day. But it is a choice. We can live a little bit more in the ‘now’ and make those little moments of contact.
Everybody knows this one:
The bus/tram driver who waits a bit longer because he sees you running towards the bus stop.
I don’t know about you, but that makes my day.
Yes it happens quite often that he doesn’t stop… but hey; that are the rules :)